Gear: what actually matters and what is a con

The baby industry is very good at selling anxiety with a product attached. Two categories only: things where quality matters, and things where it does not.

Spend properly here

• Car seat. Non-negotiable. Buy new, never second hand unless you know its full history, and get the fitting checked in person. Most retailers do it free. A badly fitted seat is a genuine risk and it is extremely common.
• A pram that fits your actual life. Measure your hallway, your boot and your front door before you fall in love with anything. Push it around the shop. Fold it one-handed while holding something. That is the test, not the fabric.
• A decent carrier or sling. Underrated. Hands free, they sleep, you can walk. Try before buying, they suit different bodies.
• Blackout blinds. Cheap, and the highest return on investment in the entire category.

Fine to go cheap or borrowed

• Clothes. They are worn for six weeks and then never again.
• Moses basket and crib. Borrowed is fine with a new mattress.
• Changing table. A towel on the floor works and you will not fall off the floor.
• Bottles. Start with two, not a set of eight, until you know what they will accept.
• Bouncer chair. Perfectly good second hand.

Actively sceptical

• Nappy bins. A bin with a lid.
• Bottle warmers. A jug of hot water.
• Top-and-tail bowls. Two bowls.
• Baby food processors. A fork.
• Sleep positioners, pods and nests for sleep. Not consistent with safer sleep guidance. Skip them.
• Anything promising more sleep for over a hundred pounds. If it worked it would be famous.

The kit list nobody gives you

For you, not the baby:

• A bag you would actually carry. Any bag. Not a floral one you resent.
• A head torch. Sounds ridiculous, transforms night changes.
• A decent water bottle for the sofa.
• Two more phone chargers than you own now.

The rule

Buy for the first six weeks only. Everything after that you will understand better when you get there, and half of what you were going to buy will turn out to be unnecessary. The house fills up fast enough on its own.