Everyday parenting
Safe sleep, without the fear
The guidance is short, boring and worth knowing exactly. It will also let you put them down and actually breathe.
Most of what frightens new parents at night is fixed by a very short list. Learn the list once and you will spend fewer hours staring at a monitor.
This is a summary of established UK safer-sleep guidance, not a substitute for it. The Lullaby Trust is the authority and their site is clear and free.
The short version
- On the back, every sleep. Naps included. Not the side, not the front.
- Own sleep space, clear and flat. Cot, crib or Moses basket. Firm, flat mattress.
- Nothing loose in there. No pillows, no duvets, no cot bumpers, no toys, no pods or nests.
- Feet to foot. If using blankets, tuck them no higher than the shoulders.
- In your room for the first six months, for naps and nights.
- Not too hot. Around 16 to 20 degrees. Check the chest or back of the neck, not the hands.
- Smoke-free, throughout pregnancy and after.
Sofas and armchairs
This is the one that gets skipped and it matters most. Never sleep with a baby on a sofa or armchair. The risk is dramatically higher than a bed. If you are feeding at 4am and feel yourself going, put them down in the cot first, even if they protest.
If you are considering co-sleeping
Some families do, deliberately or by accident at 3am. There is safer guidance for it and it is worth reading before the night it happens rather than during.
It should never happen if either of you has drunk alcohol, taken anything sedating including some cold remedies, or smokes, or if the baby was premature or low birth weight.
What you can stop worrying about
- Irregular breathing, snuffling and pauses are normal in newborns.
- They do not need a completely silent room.
- Once they can roll themselves over, you do not need to keep turning them back. Start them on their back and let them find their own position.
The honest bit
You will still check on them. You will hold a hand near their chest in the dark more times than you will admit to. Following the list will not stop you doing that, but it does mean the checking is habit rather than fear.